Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize