No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
