I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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