and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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