If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
