You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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