how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I am one with the molecules
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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