I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
