she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
