Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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