i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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