So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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