I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
