1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
