i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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