Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
