Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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