omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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