I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
