I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The adults are the big ones right?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
