Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
