There was a lot of him and a little penis
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
