Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
