he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
