Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
