I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I am mentally ready for anal.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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