I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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