Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
