I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
