dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
