so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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