Ambien. No doubt about it.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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