Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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