Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The power of my boobs compel you
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
