I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
