What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
