youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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