operation have a gay friend backfired
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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