It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
