When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
