Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
