how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
