i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
