I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
