the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
