my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
