I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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