im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
