But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
