SEEEEXXX PLEASE
only if we run a train.
done.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
