pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
