I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
