AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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