she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize