Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
